To Look Within
by constellationgazer
Summary: One-shot. BB and Terra are getting married. What ails this couple on their wedding day? What will happen when Beast Boy says some hurtful things in the spur of a moment, and when someone strikes in the middle of their wedding? Will Raven's love for Beast Boy cost her to sacrifice everything for his happiness? Rated T for slight mention of death. BBxRae


**Author's Note:**

**Hey everyone! Basically this is my second BBxRae story, and I really don't know where all the inspiration is coming from, but wow I've been getting loads of ideas for BBxRae stories, so here's one of them that's been stuck on my mind forever.**

**Basically Beast Boy has been dating Terra all this while when she regained her memories and came back. He thinks he's happy, and a few months into this he proposes to Terra. The two of them are getting married today, but the both of them are having second thoughts, their thoughts directed to other people, and a certain empath isn't happy at all. What will happen when Beast Boy says some hurtful things in the spur of a moment, and when a new enemy strikes in the middle of their wedding? Will Raven's love for Beast Boy cost her to sacrifice everything for his happiness? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Teen Titans, ever. **

**Beast Boy's changing room:**

Beast Boy was getting married today. He didn't know what to feel. He was extremely happy on one hand to be finally getting married to his girlfriend of 9 months, but he somewhere deep within, he was a little confused. You could say that he had not felt the spark in their relationship for a while now, but Terra was still happy, and who was he to deny her happiness? They got along well enough, and didn't bicker as much as normal couples did, maybe they got along **too **well.

Terra's return had sparked so many emotions for him. It had been almost overwhelming. He was overjoyed and hit it off with her almost immediately, but he didn't fail to notice what Terra's return did to Raven, one of his best friends. The girl didn't appear in the commons anymore. She hid in her room almost every second of the day, only coming out to get her herbal tea and go on missions. If they had meals, she would come out to grab her share, and then quickly faze out through the floor. He missed spending time with Raven. They had gotten very close after Terra's disappearance, and Beast Boy knew he had her to thank when he had been in depression.

The girl had gotten him out of it, but it seemed the tables had turned when Terra returned. Raven was the one who was now depressed, and some part of him yelled at himself to go ask her what she had wanted to say when Terra had suddenly made her grand entrance, cutting off what she had wanted to reveal to him. He had pushed those thoughts away, and as the days past, he drifted apart from Raven, and their friendship became strained.

He sighed and adjusted his tux. He remembered their fight just the day before. She had screamed at him about getting married so early, while he had retorted that he was not immature any longer. She kept saying Terra wasn't right for him, and Beast Boy was so mad that he had yelled back at her, claiming she was just jealous and to leave him alone. Little did he know that Raven was indeed jealous. He pushed that argument to the back of his head and ran his fingers through his hair that had been gelled back meticulously.

Just 15 more minutes now, and he would become a married man. He sat down and closed his eyes, trying to calm his fluttering heart. A knock came at the window. He opened his eyes in shock and realised it was just Raven. He opened the window big enough to let her in, but she shook her head slightly. She handed him a note, and smiled sadly at him. Beast Boy took a closer look at her. Her hair was unkempt, falling to her waist, and there were bags underneath her eyes. Beast Boy could tell she had been up all night crying.

"To look within," she whispered.

Without another word, she flew away.

He shut the window tightly, and sat down in front of the dressing table. He unfolded the note, and stared at the familiar calligraphic handwriting before him. _Yup, _he thought, _this is definitely Raven's handwriting. Only hers would be so italicized and straight._

_**Dear Beast Boy,**_

_**I know I was out of line the day before, and I am sorry that I yelled at you. I still stand by what I say, that Terra is not right for you and you're not ready. But if you're happy, and if you're sure, who am I to question your decisions? I know I said that I wouldn't come to the wedding today. That sentence was said out of anger, but I never say anything I don't mean, so it's the truth. I hadn't even planned on seeing you, but I had to see you one last time as a single man, who was not tied down by marriage. **_

_**I guess since you're getting married in a few minutes that I can confess to you why I really shouted at you. I love you, Beast Boy. I love your jokes, your personality, your ears, and even the little fang poking out of your mouth. I love the attention you used to shower on me, before she came back. I had helped you get over Terra, and I thought you would see me as more than a friend eventually. But then she had to come back, and ruin everything. I was just about to confess my love to you that day. You spent more time with her than you ever did with me, and I knew then that there was no way you would love someone like me.**_

_**But I don't blame you. Who could? I'm a creepy unfeeling gothic bitch, and you've said this before. Don't try to deny it because I know it's true. Terra's everything I am not. She's funny, she's beautiful, she's powerful, and she could love you unconditionally without hurting you like I would. So I suppose that she would be the best for you. So because I love you, and care for your happiness, I'm going to let you go. Don't worry, I would ruin your wedding, or your life, so you are free to love Terra as much as you want.**_

_**I'm sorry I can't go into the church to attend the wedding, but I'll be outside watching. I have my reasons, and one of them is because I don't think I can take the pain of watching you marry Terra in front of everyone, when it could have been me. I think I might not be able to control my emotions and ruin the whole wedding. It kills me to know that I could have had the chance if she didn't come back, but fate has always been cruel to me, and I've accepted it.**_

_**That was probably the last time you ever see of me. I'm going away after the wedding back to Azarath. It's too painful for me here, to see you love Terra, and to live a life with her for all eternity. I just want to let you know that none of this is your fault, and you shouldn't feel guilty for making me leave Jump City. She's your white rose, cherish her and love her. **_

_**I love you Beast Boy, I have ever since you tried to make me laugh. You will be happy with Terra Beast Boy, and I know I will simply cease to become a distant memory soon enough. Have a happy life Beast Boy, I will never forget you. **_

_**Love always,**_

_**Raven**_

Beast Boy stared at the letter in shock, but a knock came at the door.

"Hey grass stain! It's time!"

He got up quickly and walked out the door, the letter from Raven forgotten, lying there desolately on the top of the dresser. A part of Raven remained there, her emotions that she had poured out while writing that letter, and it would remain there for all eternity.

**Terra's changing room:**

Terra didn't know what to do. She was in a terrible dilemma. She loved Beast Boy, but a part of her belonged to Aqualad as well. She couldn't understand why, but there had been a tingly feeling every time she stared at Aqualad. He was always the ladies' man, and Terra found herself extremely attracted to him. She didn't tell Beast Boy, but the two of them had snuck out for a couple of dates without him knowing. She couldn't bear to hurt Beast Boy's feelings, not when they had been through so much, but she really didn't know if she could go through this wedding, knowing Aqualad won't be there in attendance and her heart feeling torn.

Suddenly a dark figure fazed through the floor and a hand stretched out and deposited a letter at her lap, before sinking through the floor again. Terra knew who it was. It was Raven. The pale sorceress who had been so distant ever since Terra hooked up with Beast Boy again. Terra knew it was partially her fault, and she felt bad whenever Beast Boy kissed her in front of Raven. She knew the girl loved Beast Boy, but he didn't see it.

**Terra,**

**So you're getting married today to Beast Boy. Congratulations. I only ask one thing of you. Treat him and cherish him every minute, every second of every day like I never could. He loves you, so better love him as much as he does you. Or else, I will hunt you down and send you to a different dimension and ensure you never return. **

**I am not going to lie and say I'm not angry at you, because you stole the man I loved from right under my nose, but if Beast Boy's happy, I will try to be happy. He is your white horse, a stallion coming to sweep you off your feet. He is my black horse, a phantom to haunt my dreams, and every second of the two of you together to me is a nightmare. **

**I cannot watch the wedding. To be honest Terra, it's not because I am disgusted of you. It's because my demon side does not allow me to enter churches. I am burned when I enter, and my energy is sapped from me slowly. I cannot last long enough in a church to watch the entire wedding without getting drained and dying, so I'm sorry. **

**I am returning to Azarath after I watch the wedding from outside, so you won't have to worry about me ruining you and Beast Boy's happily ever after. I am dying inside, but I pray you will take care of him like how I would care for him if he were to be my husband. But he's not, and I know my dreams will never become a reality. I will forever be the one alone, I've been doomed from the start.**

**Take care of Beast Boy.**

**Farewell,**

**Raven**

Terra felt awful at this point. Raven loved him, and she was about to just steal him away when she wasn't even sure that she loved him whole-heartedly. Terra closed her eyes and took deep breaths, and after a few moments, she opened them again to a knock at the door. She knew what to do. Her heart belonged with Aqualad, and she would not say yes at the wedding. It would kill Beast Boy, but he would eventually find his happiness in the Azarathian, and she would find hers with Aqualad.

"To look within," she said softly, before exiting the room determinedly.

**Outside the church:**

Raven sat outside one of the windows, watching as the wedding got under way. She was crying freely now, as tears streamed down her cheeks and her eyes reddened once more. Things around her were exploding, but less now. She had already cried so much. She knew that in Nevermore, things were slowly changing. The plains were becoming barren, and her emotions were getting weaker. Happy was no longer happy, Love was wilting, even Rage was silenced. Timid was shaking more often than not, and Knowledge was at a loss of words. Brave no longer stood confidently, she fell onto the ground weeping.

They were getting to the vows now, and Raven ran into a nearby alley. She couldn't watch this. It was too painful. Suddenly screams pierced the air, and she ran out of the alley to see the church in flames and people running out. She saw someone in flames running away, and she wanted to give chase, but her heart was screaming at her to see if Beast Boy was alright. She couldn't enter the church, so she waited outside and her heart screamed in relief as Beast Boy was seen exiting the church.

"Terra, where's Terra?!" Beast Boy screamed.

Raven looked around and scanned the area with her powers. Terra was still inside the church.

"Beast Boy, calm down. Terra's in the church."

His reaction came much swifter and more painful than she would ever admit.

"CALM DOWN? YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN? MY FIANCE'S IN A BURNING CHURCH AND YOU'RE ASKING ME TO CALM DOWN? I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND, WHAT WITH YOU BEING A HEARTLESS BITCH, BUT YOU WERE OUTSIDE THE CHURCH WERE YOU NOT? FIRST YOU DON'T ATTEND MY WEDDING, AND THEN YOU LET US GET ATTACKED? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU BETTER GET HER OUT, OR ELSE!"

Raven felt her emotions wilt even more right there and then. All of them fell to the floor, and from there a new emotion formed. Depression. She stood, wobbling slightly, then fell back to the ground and sobbed her heart out. Raven knew what she had to do now. She had to go get Terra out, even if it meant her demise. If she could get in and out within 5 minutes, she was safe. She had to make Beast Boy happy, and she couldn't bear seeing him upset.

Without a second thought, she flew into the church, and didn't hear Beast Boy suddenly realise what he had said and try to call her back.

**Inside the Church:**

She flew, trying to ignore the sensation of a thousand knives stabbing at her. She tried to avoid the falling debris, then finally managed to locate the fallen bride, trapped under some metal cross-bracings. Raven flew over and used her telekinetic powers to lift it off Terra. She helped the coughing girl up and supported her with an arm over her shoulder.

Terra had broken wrists, and one broken ankle, but Raven couldn't heal her here. She was took weak to do that. Her main aim would be to get the geomancer out.

"No," Terra said to her, "you should not be in here. You can't. You'll die."

Raven smiled sadly at her.

"Anything that makes BB happy, and that means getting you out alive no matter what. It was my fault anyway that your wedding was ruined. I'll just get you out within 2 more minutes and I'll be fine, and then you can get back to saying your wedding vows."

"WHAT DID HE SAY NOW?"

"Don't worry about it Terra, I can handle it," she replied monotonously, although her hands were shaking.

The church's divine effect was starting to weigh her down more. She could feel her skin beginning to smoke and her becoming weaker.

"Come on, let's get you out," she gasped.

Raven hobbled out slowly, levitating Terra in front of her. They managed to avoid almost all the debris, only getting occasionally hit once in a while. They had almost reached the entrance now, both of them gasping for air. Raven knew her time was almost up, and within about 30 seconds she would become toast. Suddenly a loud boom shook and Raven formed a shield instinctively. Her eyes swiveled over to where the fire was heading. Her eyes widened. The fire was going to hit one of the gas tanks at the corner of the church, and the whole place was going to blow.

The entrance was in sight and she saw that Terra had seen exactly the same thing. Raven knew what she had to do in that split second. She had to blast Terra out with the last of her dark energy, to get her out of harms' way. She knew it would weaken her greatly, and the fire would most likely consume her, but the divine effect would get to her first.

Terra realised what she was about to do.

"No," she whispered, "Raven don't do this. Beast Boy loves you."

Raven shook her head and smiled brokenly.

"No he doesn't, he loves you. I'm sorry for this, tell Beast Boy I love him."

With those final words, she pushed Terra out with the last of her wavering energy, and a split second later, the church exploded. Debris fell everywhere, and she put up a weak shield. Her clothes were smoking and her eyes were rolling to the back of her head as she fell to the floor. The last thing she saw was a large chunk of a ceiling falling onto her shield, disintegrating with her shield, and she let the burning feeling of the divine consume her.

"Beast Boy, I love you," she gasped out as darkness overtook her.

**Outside the church:**

Beast Boy watched in shock as Terra came flying out of the church. He managed to catch her as she fell, and then the church exploded. Chunks of cement rained everywhere, but Starfire managed to blast them away before they did any damage to the people.

"NOOOO!" Terra screamed.

"Terra, come on talk to me, what happened, where's—RAVEN!"

He ran towards the burning church, trying to ignore the horrible feeling in his gut that Raven was hurt, or worse, dead. Terra followed him, hitting him all the way.

"WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? SHE CAN'T ENTER CHURCHES BECAUSE OF HER DEMON SIDE! SHE'LL DIE IF SHE DOES! LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. I DON'T REALLY LOVE YOU BB I WAS GOING TO SAY NO, BUT SHE CAME TO ME TO MAKE YOU HAPPY, AND NOW SHE'S INSIDE AFTER PUSHING ME OUT WITH THE LAST BIT OF HER ENERGY!"

"No," Beast Boy cried, "NO!"

"WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

He fell to the floor, writhing in pain. He felt his bones reshuffling, his eyes narrowing into slits, as he morphed into the Beast. He charged into the church, trying to sniff Raven out. Then he saw her. The beautiful dark angel, lying on the floor, crushed by a piece of the ceiling, smoke rising out from her, and he snapped. He roared and batted the piece of cement away like it was just a fly, before gripping the limp body of Raven between his teeth and ran out of the church.

People saw him go, but no one tried to stop him. Robin got onto his R-cycle, Cyborg his T-car, Terra onto a rock and Starfire flew as fast as she could. They followed him back to the tower, where he promptly crashed through the walls into the infirmary, and he gently laid the empath down on a bed. Cyborg entered soon enough and began checking her vitals, connecting her to tubes as he tried to restart her dead heart. To everyone's relief, it started again, and Beast Boy morphed back into his human form when he realised she was out of danger.

He started panicking again, when he realised therew as no blue aura around her. _Why isn't she healing herself, _he thought with panic.

There was only one way to find out. He ran to her room, before grabbing a mirror hurriedly. He wasn't grabbed into the mirror this time, only swept into the swirling vortex as he leant in. He landed at the same place, but this time, there were no creepy ravens lurking around. He ran over to where Happy's realm was, but when he stepped through, he was greeted by an entirely different sight. It was no longer the place where air fresheners came from. The whole place was gray, and he spotted a lone figure on the ground weeping. It was Happy, or had been Happy. Her cloak was gray, and she didn't smile.

He ran over to her and picked her up, placing her head on his lap.

"Hey…BB," she muttered weakly.

"What's happened Happy? Why's your entire realm so…bleak?"

"You happened. I ceased to be me when you got married. The pain was too great, and I can no longer stand. Raven's lost all hope, so us, her emotions, are also dead. We're dying BB, I can feel it."

Happy's breaths were coming in shorter pants now, and her skin was turning grayer than usual.

"NO," Beast Boy shouted, "you can't die. I love you, you hear me, don't you dare die on me Happy. I love every single part of Raven, and you had better hang on."

Everything changed suddenly. Happy regained all the colour in her cheeks, and her cloak turned pink. She stood up so suddenly that Beast Boy gasped in surprise.

"You're…you're…"

"Oh BB do you really love me?"

Beast Boy could only nod back in shock.

"YAY! COME ON, LET'S GO FIND RAVEN DOPEY! I'M FEELING ALL BETTER NOW! Oh and for the record, I love you too," she said, planting a kiss right smack on his lips.

They weaved through different realms of all the emotions, and seeing Happy so…happy, and Beast Boy coming to find Raven, all of them got better instantaneously and they went deeper and deeper in the recess of Raven's mind. They got to a section which was cut off from the rest. Beast Boy turned into a hawk and flew past the floating rocks to a church that sat detached from the rest of the realms. He opened the doors and ran towards the figure lying on the bench in the first row. Raven was shivering, and Beast Boy's heart tore into two watching her sob.

He gathered her in his arms and stroked her hair, whispering soft words into her ear as he tried to soothe her.

"Shhhh..Rae don't cry, I love you, come back Rae…"

Raven's tears gradually sobbed.

"You…you love me?"

"I'm sorry Rae, I really am, I ignored my heart for too long, but when I saw you sacrifice everything just for my happiness, I looked into my heart, and I saw that you were really the one who has always been there, the one I've always loved. I'm sorry to have upset you so much, but I really hope that you can forgive me and take me back after all this. I was wrong, and I knew you were hurting, but I didn't care. I'm a jerk, and I'll understand if you don't take me back, but please Rae, give me a second chance."

Raven just sat there staring at him.

"You..you…love me?"

Then she leaned forward and captured his lips with hers, and time seemed to stop around them as they kissed passionately. The other emotions felt themselves grow much stronger and they cheered. Both teens came up for air soon enough and Beast Boy couldn't help but tease her.

"Out of all my sincere, deep words, that's all you caught? So…I guess you'll take me back now?"

Raven rolled her eyes, but kissed his cheek affectionately.

"Way to ruin the moment, BB."


End file.
